Motherhood: An emotional rollercoaster on repeat.

Posted by shira Anapolsky on

Everyone says, "you won't understand what it's like to have kids, until you have them..." and, while that is entirely true, there is also a BIG chance that once you have them, you still won't understand it! Forget trying to figure women out, psh! Try to make sense of a 2 year old, losing her shit because she asked you for chips, and while you don't even want her to have chips, you give in (because, it's easier) and put some in a bowl, but she wants to eat from the bag itself. Hell hath no fury like a toddler who doesn't get what she wants, when it's close to nap time. Don't believe me? Do a little poll in your mom squad chat and see who had the most ridiculous tantrum of the day - you are bound to hear some hilarious stories, and maybe even feel better about your own twouche-bag encounter. 

Lately, I ask my 2 year old, "why?" all the time, and she never actually explains herself, she just keeps on whining which makes me incredibly irritated - what is it about whining that just gets under your skin?  I am a very patient person, I really always have been (except, when I'm driving, which is a whole other post) I think being a patient being has lended nicely to motherhood. I see a lot of moms, rightfully so, snap because their child has said "mommy, mommy, mama, mommy" the entire length of the grocery store. But, not me, I'm the cool, calm, collected type until the whining, oh my god, the whining... I just can't take it! It's for sure my kryptonite. So, while my daughter is whining at pick-up because she wants a snack, but I know for a fact she just had blue ice cream, yes, blue is now a flavor (insert eyeroll emoji), as well as lunch, which I don't even know what that consisted of since the menu that was sent home seems to be more of an example, than what they actually serve. Again, probably best for another post. But, yeah, she's whining for a snack and I'm annoyed because I just picked her up and really did miss her all morning, and I was excited to talk to her. And, so, the emotional rollercoaster takes off, my excitement quickly drops down to irritation, and when I ask her why she needs a snack since she just had lunch, she doesn't answer, she just continues saying "snack" muffled between cries. 

Normally, this is where my calm demeanor comes to a stop, as well as my car, but today I tried something different. I recently read an article about 2 year olds not listening and something clicked. "If you are struggling with a 2 year old not listening, remember this: when 700 new neurons are growing each second, do not hesitate to avoid questions and embrace acknowledgement. Because all your child wants is for you to know that he doesn't want toast in that moment. Who knew." So, today, I said, "Danielle, I know you want a snack, but mommy didn't bring any snacks because I thought you ate lunch at camp." And, do you know what my little 2 year old replied? "I want to check mommy's purse." I about died. She is so funny! The things she comes up with are just too much sometimes. So within a matter of let's say, 15 minutes, I experienced excitement, irritability, frustration, laughter, and topped it all off with feeling extremely proud of my daughter for being so witty. 

I wish I had a link to the full article, but I'm new at this blogging stuff, and I didn't think to save it, I just sent that quote to my mom squad to try and help us all see the light. Basically, 2 year olds don't know why they want what they want - they just know they want it and you are stopping them from getting it. This was really insightful to me, as I've been grilling my daughter with why's lately, so it's helpful for me to understand that she can't really answer that just yet. But, I do think there has to be a fine line between accepting that she doesn't know why she wants what she wants, and giving in to what she wants because she doesn't know why. I feel like thats what is so hard about motherhood. Trying to balance out the moments when you give in and when you stand your ground and teach a lesson. Is she even capable of being taught a lesson at this age? I would think so since she has learned where I keep the snacks, as well as where I keep the stool and how to bring the stool over to the snacks to help herself to whatever the f she wants... which makes me proud of her, and also annoyed, cue the carny, it's time for another ride! 

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